Introduction
Everyone today seems so serious. I’ve noticed that, particularly since the pandemic, people have forgotten to laugh and smile. People are on edge, and everyone seems afraid to let down their guard. I can’t remember the last time anyone told me a joke, and funny stories are few and far between nowadays.
When did we all get so serious? Whatever happened to humour?
The Value of Humour
Humour is a state of amusement or fun as expressed in literature or speech. It is a state of mind characterized by hilarity and a good mood. However, humour is much more than just telling a joke or sharing a funny story. Humour is actually an important life and business skill, and one that is worth cultivating.
Dwight Eisenhower, the former U.S. President, once said:
“A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done”.
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/36270-a-sense-of-humor-is-part-of-the-art-of
So, what are the specific advantages of humour? Here, I submit, are a few:
1) It creates a bond between people. Humour is like a universal language. It is something to be shared, and it promotes good will. Humour allows us to build a bond with others.
2) It can dissipate tension and stress. In a tense situation or interaction humour enables us to laugh and release tension. Injecting levity into a serious discussion can provide an important pressure release.
3) It reflects humanity. Humour, especially the self-deprecating type, conveys to others that we are human and not devoid of personality. It also signals that we don’t take ourselves seriously all the time.
4) It can help us set things in perspective. Humour, when properly directed, can enable us to see things as they really are. Sometimes, people can elevate issues or concerns to a heightened or exaggerated state. Humour helps us to recognize that not all things in life are critical or all-important.
5) It can enable us to re-focus and re-examine our priorities. Humour enables us to take a break, and it can be helpful in shifting the focus in a meeting. Sometimes, it can stop us “in our tracks”, and make us re-evaluate a situation or predicament.
Humour can play an important role in improving workplace relationships and interactions (Photo courtesy of Timo Miroshnichenko and Pexels)
Not all Humour is the Same
As valuable as humour is, it is important to remember that humour comes in many different guises. Humour can be witty and light-hearted. Humour can be silly. Humour can be self-deprecating. Humour can be wry. Humour can be derisive. Humour can be sarcastic. Humour can also be demoralizing or demeaning.
Because it comes in so many different forms being mindful of both the intent and the audience is an important consideration.
It Doesn’t Work in Every Situation
As incredible as humour is, there are certain situations and circumstances where, using humour, is not the best or recommended approach. From a working perspective some of these include the following:
1. Delivering disappointing, upsetting or devastating news. Trying to cheer someone up during a time of grave or severe upset can be perceived as insensitive or dismissive. Avoid using humour in these instances because, no matter how funny your story or remark, it will not be received well.
2. During a performance review or a performance improvement discussion. Sometimes in business it may be necessary to discipline an employee for non-performance. Using humour in these circumstances can minimize the impact of the message you are conveying, and confuse the recipient.
3. During an employee termination. Terminations are difficult moments in an employee’s career. It is hard for both the person being terminated and those who have to communicate the decision. Making light of the situation will not work in this case. If you are delivering the bad news your role is to be clear and unambiguous, and to get through the process as quickly as possible.
4. When presenting to someone from a different culture who may not reflect the same behaviours or social norms as yourself. Sometimes what may be perceived as funny in one culture may be considered rude or offensive in another. Unless you are absolutely confident that the references you will use will not be taken out of context it is probably best to avoid making jokes when meeting or interacting with those from cultures outside North America.
If Humour is So Great Why is it so Uncommon?
The short answer to this question is….I don’t know. I do think that since the pandemic many of us have lost the art of engagement with our fellow citizens. Social interaction in the post- lockdown era seems almost unnatural. Many still grapple with how to act and respond in social settings. Things such as shaking hands when greeting someone now seems almost unnatural.
I also think that people are a lot more self-conscious now. I attribute this, in part, to the rise of social media. Everyone is fixated on how they appear or are perceived. No one wants to be seen as frivolous, light-hearted or jovial, and no one wants to be the butt of ridicule.
Finally, I suspect that the rise of equity, diversity and inclusion awareness has resulted in everyone becoming excessively guarded and “on edge”. In the pursuit of trying to sanitize the workplace we’ve managed to make it so antiseptically sterile that it is totally devoid of light-heartedness or wit. Any type of humour that references or focuses on race, gender, ethnicity, sex, religion, sexual preference, etc., regardless of how indirect or benign, is deemed taboo. No one wants to run the risk of making a joke only to find themselves the target of a discrimination or harassment complaint.
A Final Thought….
A few weeks ago I had a chance to meet one of my American coaching clients who came to Canada on vacation to visit family. We had a great visit in Toronto, and after lunch, we went up to her office building where she took me for a tour of the facility.
I left the corporate world in 2017, so I rarely go into Toronto anymore. Since the pandemic my coaching services are delivered virtually. Visiting an office building, let along going into Toronto, is now a rarity. As my client showed me around her office two things struck me. First, except for one individual everyone I saw was very, very young. I doubt most of them were over 30. Second, as we walked around the floor through various departments I made a point of smiling and saying “hello” to those with whom I exchanged glances. No one smiled in return. In fact, most didn’t return my “hello”.
As I left the office and reflected on my visit I thought about all these young workers, and how overtly tense and serious they seemed. I also thought of the sage words of Maya Angelou:
“Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one’s fellow human beings.”
https://www.chelomleavitt.com/what-are-you-laughing-at/
One of my favourite comedians was the late Robin Williams. For me, he exemplified the world of comedy with his wit, frenetic pace and ad libs. However, what always amazed me about his comedic genius was the touch of wisdom and pathos that underscored his brilliance.
Robin Williams is credited with a number of brilliant and insightful comments, but this, I believe, was one of his most insightful:
“You look at the world and see how scary it can be sometimes and still try to deal with the fear. Comedy can deal with the fear and still not paralyze you or tell you that it’s going away. You say, OK, you got certain choices here, you can laugh at them and then once you’ve laughed at them and you have expunged the demon, now you can deal with them. That’s what I do when I do my act”.
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/robin-williams-the-power-of-laughter-sorrow-shannon-roszell/