Introduction
One of the things I typically ask when I meet with a new client for the first time is to invite them to describe themselves using ten adjectives. The response is intended to reveal valuable insights into a new client’s character.
When I first started coaching I thought this question was rather mundane and simple. To my astonishment, many clients struggle to identify more than four words. My first inclination was to think my clients were being modest. However, as time has elapsed, I’ve come to the realization that most people really don’t have a firm grasp on who they are, let alone what is their value proposition as employees.
Know Thyself
One might think that having a clear and realistic understanding of one’s temperament, personality, strengths, development areas and preferences would be perceived positively. Such is not the case, which begs the question: why? From personal experience, I think there are a multitude of factors at play:
1) Business Expectations. In today’s business climate, employees are expected to perform a multitude of roles. Admitting that one isn’t good at something, or is deficient in a particular skills, can be perceived as self-limiting or an admission of failure.
2) A fear of vulnerability. Sometimes, we assume tasks or engage in work that we either don’t enjoy, or which fails to meet our needs. We do so perhaps because we want to be a good team player, or fear that by admitting to something may be perceived as a sign of weakness.
3) A reluctance to display authenticity. Workplaces don’t necessarily value honesty or candour. Honesty can sometimes be construed as a weakness.
4) Concern about limiting advancement. If we admit to a skill deficiency that can sometimes be used either to stereotype us, or to limit our growth or advancement.
5) Lack of introspection. The pace of today’s workplace doesn’t always contribute to self-reflection. Too often, the focus is upon immediate results, not critical evaluation. We do things hastily without stopping to critically evaluate the why and how.
6) Honesty can be sobering and discouraging. To be honest in one’s assessment of our strengths and weaknesses can be difficult in a world that is conditioned to never-ending success and development.
Techniques for Gaining Self-Awareness
Assuming that a person accepts that self-awareness may be beneficial, the question then becomes: how can one gain a realistic sense of self-awareness? Here are a few ideas:
1) Ask for feedback from family, friends, co-workers and supervisors. Asking for feedback from various people in your life can be very helpful. Certainly, some of them may be biased in their evaluations, but when you put together input from multiple parties you begin to develop a holistic picture.
2) Old report cards and performance reviews. Trite as it may seem, a report card from your high school written by knowledgeable teachers can be insightful. So can the observations of a former supervisor. Go back and read the summaries of your performance. Again, take a holistic approach. Some trends and patterns should start to emerge.
3) Identify your role models. Human beings are conditioned to associate with those with whom we identify based on some personality trait or characteristic. Think about who are your role models and close friends, and then try to identify why they resonate with you, or what you find appealing about them.
4) Critical Incident Summary. Identify 5 or 6 very critical or significant events, activities or undertakings that occurred in your life. How did you behave? What traits, characteristics or skills did you display? Why were you impactful?
5) Take a psychometric assessment. Assessment tools like EQ I 2.0 or Myers-Briggs, can often yield important insights into your temperament and personality. Here are a number of tools I have used with clients that you may find of value:
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
https://www.humanmetrics.com/personality
Self-Awareness is an often overlooked, but critical, business, career and social skill (Photo Courtesy of Thirdman and Pexels).
Benefits of Self-Awareness
1) You begin to act rather than react. Once you have greater self-awareness you begin to make decisions that align with your values, beliefs, strengths and interests. You stop trying to be all things to all people, and focus on being yourself, warts and all.
2) You position yourself for success. People who have greater self-awareness have more confidence and self-assurance. They actively avoid those things that give them discomfort, and concentrate on that which promotes, or is more likely to lead, to success.
3) You learn to avoid obstacles and pitfalls. If you understand your temperament then you know the circumstances and situations under which you are most likely succeed or fail. Ideally, you orient your attention to the former, and where possible, avoid the latter.
4) You focus on things that are important to you. When you develop a genuine understanding of yourself you learn to have confidence in yourself, your abilities and your judgement. Because your attention is more focused you stop wasting time on things that don’t align with your values, interests or aspirations.
5) You develop greater decisiveness and, by extension, self-confidence People who know what they want can make decisions. They understand the things that promote success, and don’t waste time on things that don’t. That, in turn, promotes self-confidence.
A Final Thought…
When we act from a place of knowledge and self-awareness then we begin to make informed and rational decisions that align with our goals and interests. That one benefit alone should be sufficient to encourage you to invest some time and effort in gaining an enhanced perspective on your style, preferences and character.